Jennifer Bezoza Coaching

Lately, I have been working with clients to reclaim their most precious resource–their time and energy. It’s easy to become so  overcommitted that there is little time left over for personal projects, life maintenance and pleasurable pursuits. Like an old email account which has started to accumulate spam and clutter, your personal calendars can start to fill up with obligations and draining activities, which don’t necessarily fit in with your current and/or future visions of how you want to be investing our time and energy.  So how, you might ask, can you apply “spam blocking” strategies to update your calendar  to reflect heartfelt, meaningful and energizing committments?  Here are several strategies below.  

Leverage the YES, NO, YES formula. The idea behind this approach is that it allows you to say yes to others, and no to doing things in a way that doesn’t work or serve you.  So, let’s say a friend invites you to a charity event that falls during a crunch time at work. You can say, YES, I’d love to support you and help this organization.  Then, you can say, NO, I cannot attend this particular event.  Then, in closing, you can say YES, I am happy to give a donation to the organization or volunteer my time at a later date.  This strategy also invites you to be more creative in responding to any variety of inquiries, invitations and requests. 

Schedule/calendar weekly time for life maintenance and/or personal pursuits. It’s such a simple step, and yet not something we are likely to do for ourselves. Maybe you schedule it during the week or a weekend morning.  You might do different things each week, but at beginning of week, schedule a window of time where you take care of projects and organizational things that you continue to feel behind on.  Just putting it on your calendar can allay your anxiety and allow you to be calmer and more focused in the present.

Articulate concrete, visual goals for your personal time. It’s easy to keep saying yes to those “spam” invitations  when you have not put a stake in the ground for your projects that keep falling off the radar screen!  Paint a picture of your ideal physical space, your desired portfolio, your ideal physique, your finished article or book–whatever it is you want to create and/or complete! 

Spend more time doing activities that bring you energy and fulfillment. What are activities that you find yourself completely absorbed in to the point of losing consciousness?  Like a peak athlete who experiences “flow” when performing at his/her best, seek out those activities that have you completely engaged.  Drawing from positive psychology research, these are the pursuits where you will find meaning and gratifying emotional “highs.”  Take a piece of paper and in two minutes, write out the things that energize you; then, make a list out those things that deplete you.  While you may not be able to eliminate the draining activities entirely, you can intersperse the draining tasks between two energizing tasks throughout your day. 

Take a pause before you commit to things.   For those of you who are natural “joiners,” “connectors,” or “helpers,” you may have to allow yourself to pause and reflect on whether you have the capacity and/or desire to assume this particular responsibility or request.  Ask yourself whether this effort will bring you energy, have greater meaning and/or be a valuable use of your skills and strengths.  Not only will this have you more focused and intentional, but it will also be helpful to the causes and people for which you do want to contribute your time and energy.

I hope that at least one of these strategies resonated for you, so that you can improve your “spam blocking” capabilities in your personal life.