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Archive for May, 2009

May 17

Interview Q&A with the Early Bird

Given that I continue to work with clients on time management, I decided to interview a dear friend who is not just on time, but is perpetually early to all her commitments.  Here’s what I gleaned on what it takes to be an early/timely “bird.” 

What are your secrets to always being early to appointments? How do you do it?
Thinking ahead. I always work backwards from the time I need to be somewhere. When do I need to leave for my destination? When do I need to start getting ready?  And then I stick to my timeline leading up to my departure.  Also, I always build a cushion for “transport” time. Even if I know it only takes 10 minutes to get somewhere, I still leave 20 minutes. I assume that something unexpected might delay me. And then, since there usually isn’t a delay, I end up arriving early.

Many people are late, as they are just trying to get one more thing in.  How do you avoid that urge to do that before getting out of the house? For me, it’s about respecting and pleasing others. I don’t want to disappoint others by keeping them waiting. And in the end, that concern is more important than just about anything I else I might want to “fit in”.

How does it feel to regularly get to events/commitments on time? In contrast, if/when you are late, how do you feel? Being on time is the norm for me, so I don’t think much about it. Though I often observe and make a mental note about whether others are on-time to events and parties. (Being late) makes me feel anxious, uncomfortable and guilty. While growing up, my mother used to say that if you keep someone waiting, you’re sending the message that your time is more important than theirs; that sentiment of disrespect has stuck with me.

How do you spend the extra time when you get somewhere early? 
Thank goodness for (technology)! I will make/ return phone calls or send emails/texts from my phone. Or, if it’s a work-related meeting, being early gives me a few extra minutes to mentally prepare. If I’m SUPER early, I may sneak in an errand close-by.

What do the people around you say or think about the fact that you are always on time? 
 A few of most close friends tease me about being early/on-time; they know that if they are hosting a gathering they better be ready at the start time because I will be ringing the doorbell!

Where do you think you learned this habit of being an “early bird”?  
It feels more instinctual than learned.

May 17

Unveiling Secrets from an “Early Bird”

Recently, I sprinted several avenues cross town and zigzagged like frogger  to be on time to an appointment. Unfortunately, my entire day had the same pace; it made me think of a line from a poem I’d written about my mother when I was a child: “My mother is always rushing, but never late.” And here I find myself as an adult following suit.  

This post is NOT about becoming my mother though.  It’s about what it means to be on time, and whether it really matters to us (and others) if we are just a “tad” late to meetings, appointments and/or social commitments.  My perspective (of late), is that being late, even just a couple minutes, slowly chips away at us and infuses a “low grade” negative energy.  In addition, the continual stress of rushing to is harmful to our physical body and our ability to operate at our best.  

Given that I continue to work with clients about all elements of time, and how to use time most effectively, I decided to get some answers from a dear friend who is not just on time, but is perpetually early.  Here’s what I gleaned on what it takes to be an early/timely “bird.” 

1.) Make being on time habitual. In other words, it needs to become so routine you don’t think about it. You have to institute patterns of behavior that will have you be on time on a daily basis.
2.)  Build “cushion” into your schedule.  This is the not-so-secret, “secret sauce” to being on time.  We often
plan our schedules, as if we were booking two connecting flights with a 15 minute layover. In other words, we set ourselves up for failure! Schedule and account for the “unforeseeable mishap.”
3.) Respect your friends, family and business associates’ time.  Ultimately, it’s about keeping others in mind. When you feel tempted to finish one more task before you start getting ready, bring to mind how you will feel apologizing to that person when you are 20 minutes late.

  • What percentage of the time do you arrive on time for commitments?
  • Where do you justify being late and give yourself excuses?
  • What would it look like in your life to not just be on time but early?
  • How would you “invest” the additional time/energy you get back from not sprinting or stressing?

See Q&A for direct conversation with my early bird friend.


May 3

Spam Blocking Strategies to Reclaim Your Time

Lately, I have been working with clients to reclaim their most precious resource–their time and energy. It’s easy to become so  overcommitted that there is little time left over for personal projects, life maintenance and pleasurable pursuits. Like an old email account which has started to accumulate spam and clutter, your personal calendars can start to fill up with obligations and draining activities, which don’t necessarily fit in with your current and/or future visions of how you want to be investing our time and energy.  So how, you might ask, can you apply “spam blocking” strategies to update your calendar  to reflect heartfelt, meaningful and energizing committments?  Here are several strategies below.  

Leverage the YES, NO, YES formula. The idea behind this approach is that it allows you to say yes to others, and no to doing things in a way that doesn’t work or serve you.  So, let’s say a friend invites you to a charity event that falls during a crunch time at work. You can say, YES, I’d love to support you and help this organization.  Then, you can say, NO, I cannot attend this particular event.  Then, in closing, you can say YES, I am happy to give a donation to the organization or volunteer my time at a later date.  This strategy also invites you to be more creative in responding to any variety of inquiries, invitations and requests. 

Schedule/calendar weekly time for life maintenance and/or personal pursuits. It’s such a simple step, and yet not something we are likely to do for ourselves. Maybe you schedule it during the week or a weekend morning.  You might do different things each week, but at beginning of week, schedule a window of time where you take care of projects and organizational things that you continue to feel behind on.  Just putting it on your calendar can allay your anxiety and allow you to be calmer and more focused in the present.

Articulate concrete, visual goals for your personal time. It’s easy to keep saying yes to those “spam” invitations  when you have not put a stake in the ground for your projects that keep falling off the radar screen!  Paint a picture of your ideal physical space, your desired portfolio, your ideal physique, your finished article or book–whatever it is you want to create and/or complete! 

Spend more time doing activities that bring you energy and fulfillment. What are activities that you find yourself completely absorbed in to the point of losing consciousness?  Like a peak athlete who experiences “flow” when performing at his/her best, seek out those activities that have you completely engaged.  Drawing from positive psychology research, these are the pursuits where you will find meaning and gratifying emotional “highs.”  Take a piece of paper and in two minutes, write out the things that energize you; then, make a list out those things that deplete you.  While you may not be able to eliminate the draining activities entirely, you can intersperse the draining tasks between two energizing tasks throughout your day. 

Take a pause before you commit to things.   For those of you who are natural “joiners,” “connectors,” or “helpers,” you may have to allow yourself to pause and reflect on whether you have the capacity and/or desire to assume this particular responsibility or request.  Ask yourself whether this effort will bring you energy, have greater meaning and/or be a valuable use of your skills and strengths.  Not only will this have you more focused and intentional, but it will also be helpful to the causes and people for which you do want to contribute your time and energy.

I hope that at least one of these strategies resonated for you, so that you can improve your “spam blocking” capabilities in your personal life.